I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
