I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
