you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
