He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
