Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
