well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
