At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
