quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
