They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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