PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize