did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm sobbing to NWA
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
