Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
