I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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