sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She bit a glass in half.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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