I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
