I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
