I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
