I am spending my child support on dildos
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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