I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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