do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
