ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
