are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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