Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
