I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
