david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize