I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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