Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize