2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
