sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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