well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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