btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that's an acceptable place to lick
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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