He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize