he wants to bone in the snuggie
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize