why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
