Do you still have your period?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
