But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
