Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Randomize