Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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