Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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