I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
