haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
