Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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