If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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