i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
