He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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