I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
