Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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