You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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