Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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