Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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