Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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