you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
