I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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