Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
how drunk are you?
Several
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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