I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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