Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
